Written by Catherine Rains
For the next three weeks, we’re going to look at ways to bring our type language into the 21st century. Let’s start with the phrases “I am a Thinker”, or “He is Perceiver” to describe someone’s type preference. I have to admit I am guilty of using these phrases myself, particularly before I become a MBTI® Certification trainer, or even now when I’m talking very fast and just forget the new rules for talking type.
Sometimes it just seems natural to use these phrases to describe someone’s preference for a particular dichotomy; however it is now considered outdated. Try this instead – “I have a preference for Thinking”, or “He prefers Thinking”. Why are these phrases considered best practice when describing someone’s preference? When I describe myself as a Perceiver, it implies that this is all I am, putting me in a type box. With type, we always have a choice to flex to the other side, and have skills to use both sides of a preference pair. So I’m not JUST a Perceiver. I prefer Perceiving, and easily and effortlessly exhibit behaviors associated with this preference, but this is not all that I am. I often use behaviors associated with Judging when the situation calls for these skills, and am actually quite talented at doing so. So to describe myself as a Perceiver just isn’t accurate and it implies that this is the totality of who I am. Although hard to get used to at first, this newer phraseology better reflects the philosophy and intent behind using type to improve our everyday interactions.
Ever heard the phrases “I am an off the chart Extrovert” or “he is a huge Judger” to describe someone’s preference? Stay tuned for this topic next week as we continue our discussion around cleaning up type language.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
One more word about “guessing” type - Part 2
Written by Catherine Rains
From my post last week, I’m certainly not suggesting that we flex to every person we meet, but rather when appropriate to the situation. Flexing to someone else’s type is simply a tool that helps me to communicate more effectively with others who do not share my dominant and auxiliary functions. I would be communicating the same message whether I use my dominant and auxiliary or theirs, but my message might be better understood if communicated in the type language of the person in front of me.
From my post last week, I’m certainly not suggesting that we flex to every person we meet, but rather when appropriate to the situation. Flexing to someone else’s type is simply a tool that helps me to communicate more effectively with others who do not share my dominant and auxiliary functions. I would be communicating the same message whether I use my dominant and auxiliary or theirs, but my message might be better understood if communicated in the type language of the person in front of me.
It’s important to remember that
we all have access to all four functions; however some of the functions will be
easier for us to use than others. I easily and most often use my dominant
(1st) and auxiliary(2nd), but I also effectively use my
tertiary(3rd) and inferior(4th) if it’s more appropriate
depending on the situation and the person with whom I’m talking.
Sometimes I choose to flex to my 3rd and 4th because I
think the person in front of me could hear my message clearer if I communicated
in their native type language (their 1st and 2nd) rather
than my own 1st and 2nd. Good type development is
the ability to use all four functions appropriately, but not with equal skill,
depending on the situation and the type of the person in front of you.
The process of using flexing
type was best described by Isabel Myers herself –
“Once a man has full control of his first and second functions . . . he
knows not only their strengths but also their deficits, not only how to use
them but also when not to use them because the opposite function or attitude is
more appropriate. Then he can, in some measure, control the use of these . . .,
crossing over at need from that which is natural to that which is appropriate.”
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
One more word about “guessing” type - Part 1
Written by Catherine Rains
Talking about “guessing” type can be controversial in the type community because it can imply that we are deciding for someone else what they have a preference for, almost like a party game. My intention in “guessing” type is very different. It is a tool to help me be more effective working with ALL types of people, without them ever having to take the assessment. If I can observe patterns of behavior (often the function that they are extroverting), then I can create a hypothesis about what their type could be and decide whether I can be more effective by flexing my preferences to what I think theirs could be. Guessing is not about deciding for someone else what their type is, but rather it’s a tool to help me use type to be more effective in my everyday interactions with people.
Talking about “guessing” type can be controversial in the type community because it can imply that we are deciding for someone else what they have a preference for, almost like a party game. My intention in “guessing” type is very different. It is a tool to help me be more effective working with ALL types of people, without them ever having to take the assessment. If I can observe patterns of behavior (often the function that they are extroverting), then I can create a hypothesis about what their type could be and decide whether I can be more effective by flexing my preferences to what I think theirs could be. Guessing is not about deciding for someone else what their type is, but rather it’s a tool to help me use type to be more effective in my everyday interactions with people.
Whether a person is showing me
their best fit type or not, my “guess” still gives me a leg up when working
with someone new as it gives me a basis from which to begin our communication
process. Do they want to get right to business and stay on task, or is building
a personal connection more important before we talk business. If the
communication appears to be strained after I guess and begin to flex (assuming
we have different preferences), or if my message isn’t being heard/received,
then I can flex to the opposite preference to see if that works better.
Next week I will discuss appropriate
situations of when to flex type.
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