Empowering career search and enrichment

Written by Catherine Rains 

• Affirmation goes a long way.  Reinforcing students who prefer Feeling with positive, validating comments is key to not only developing rapport with them, but also in motivating them to move forward with their career decisions.  If you disagree with a decision they are making, find a way to present your contrary opinion in a way where they still feel affirmed and validated. 

• Rational process.  Contrary to popular belief, both Feeling and Thinking preferences use a rational process for making decisions.  However, with a Feeling preference, the emphasis is on feelings and values, rather than logic.  Again, to make a balanced, complete decision, our students need to consider both Feeling and Thinking, and we need to make sure that they are considering both sets of criteria, not just Feeling (or Thinking). 

Can anyone provide a concrete example or description of an appointment they had with student who prefers Feeling?  What did the session look like?  What are YOUR best suggestions for working with a student who prefers Feeling?

• Develop rapport before anything else! Although all students want a competent counselor, a Feeling preference wants a counselor they LIKE, even more. You could be the most competent counselor in the world, but if they don’t personally like you, your competence is irrelevant.  Students who prefer Feeling only want to work with a counselor with whom they feel a personal connection to, and where they perceive the counselor personally likes them in return.  So begin an appointment with this type of student by talking about who they are outside of the issues they are coming to see you for.  Taking the time to create a personal connection will go a long way for setting the stage for success with this type of student.
• What do you value most? Since this is their top criteria in making a career decision, it is important to take the time to find out what is most important to them, and who might also be affected by the decisions that they are making.  Although students who prefer Feeling will easily use these criteria when making decision, we need to make sure they also consider Thinking criteria so that they have a balanced, well thought out decision.

Written by Catherine Rains

Someone who prefers Feeling usually starts most conversations and/or meetings with a personal topic. Establishing a personal connection with anyone they do business with is paramount to them wanting to do business with that person in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, they also want to get to the point of a meeting and get things done just like someone who prefers Thinking. But they would prefer to establish a personal connection first, and do business second. Someone who prefers Thinking wants to get business done first and talk personal second. But both preferences DO both. It’s all a matter of where each preference likes to start. So what behavioral cues make it obvious that someone prefers Feeling, other than they might start a conversation with a personal topic? They:

• Might start the conversation by asking how you feel
• Often respond to a compliment with a longer personal narrative about what was complimented about 
• Sometimes speak about what they feel, appreciate, and value 
• Might begin a sentence with the phrase “I feel…” 
• Could ask about how others have decided about something 
• Often begin emails with personal questions or commentary, maybe even add a :)
• Usually smile at you, shake their head up and down, validating what you are saying
• Sometimes indicate they are interested in a career that will help others in some way
• Could be very open and generous in their compliments and appreciation of you
• Sometimes look for ways to support what you are saying

So what have I missed? I’m sure you can come up with a few dozen more Feeling cues!

*It is important to understand that you cannot assess a person's type based merely on type cues; having the person take an assessment and giving them a proper interpretation is always recommended. The point of the blog is to try to understand how to pick up on certain type cues when in the absence of giving someone an assessment and self-verification, such as in a job interview.